So on saturday, i set out to be the very best emersonian friend o could be. My goal was to be very honest, be myself, and not have too many expectations of my friends. I spent most of my day at my dance studio with my dance friends. I have always found it to be very easy for me to be myself with them, so i was myself. I also dont have very many expectations for them. When i tried to be honest i found that sometimes i was too honest and a little rude, so by the end i was keeping my opinions to myself. Then i went to formal. At formal, i made it a point for me to be myself and do things for me, not just because of the expiriment but also so i could have fun. So i was very myself at formal. I did find it hard to not have expectations for my friends though. I expected them not to ditch me and to dance and also have fun. However, i found myself dissappointed. I was also not sucessful in being honest. I didnt tell my friend the honest truth about something because I thought it would hurt her. I guess that is exactly what emerson is saying not to do.
I think this was a very interesting experiment to perform, and i hope to become a more emersonian friend.
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4 comments:
I know what you mean about having expectations. In the past I have always been so hurt by my high expectations. Now, I find it so much more fun to just not have any expectations. It's really hard to do at first, but once you get the hang of it, everything becomes 8000000 times more fun. When I don't expect anything from myself or anything from my friends, the unexpected happens. Things that happend unexpectedly create the best memories. All of my most fun times have come unexpetedly, and I am positive that's true for a lot of people.
Leigh, I really understand where youre coming from about your expectations not being met. I always find that you should never set your expectations for people too high because they are bound to disappoint, just as you found out. The only person you can truly set expectations for is yourself, because you are the only person that you have control over. You cant control what other people do, no matter how hard you try, its just a fact of life. People dont like to change, and so when you put a preconcieved notion or judgement on a person about how they are supposed to act that does not necessarily match who they truly are, you are bound to get hurt. Its good that you came to the realization that you want to be a more Emersonian friend because I think you can learn a lot more about yourself as well as the people you call your friends by doing that. Its something we should all strive to do.
I really like how you point out how open and honest you are around your dance friends. I think with people you see a lot, especially in dance, which oftentimes requires trust, because you all have to work together, it's easier to just be yourself.
I think it's important to have some expectations, but like you said about formal...you'll always have some for your friends.
To Emerson, I guess he would be disappointed that you couldn't tell your friend the truth...but in another sense, maybe if you had told the truth, your friend would've been mad at you.
I'm glad that you think you should try to be a more "Emersonian" friend, and I think more people should try and do so...but just a little bit at a time, maybe starting with having lower expectations so we aren't disappointed as often.
Leigh this was very nice of you to be such a good emerson friend. I dont think you can ever be to honest because in the end you will be more respected.
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